How Team Bogworm did the Australian Masters….

After a stressful two months in the workshop, we weren’t going to be getting up in the middle of the night to play with a model ….. well maybe a super model !

So after a leisurely start to the day, we boarded our flight at 9:30am on Friday morning. After some vitamin M (McDonalds), the Craigheads waved us goodbye, and we were off like a brides nightie. On the way through the departure lounge, a few male interest magazines were purchased for our viewing pleasure during the flight. We managed to keep the hostee’s busy for the entire duration, particularly Worms who as usual hoovered up all in sight.

We arrived at 11:00 am Melbourne time, and we hadn’t even got from Duty Free to the Avis depot, when Worms had already finished off a whole bottle of Coruba ! Yep, a 50 oz bottle somehow bounced out of his trolley, over the model boxes & suitcases, and smashed on the pavement. Right in front of a few Ozzy Security Gaurds who immediatley figured us for Kiwi’s and took the mickey .…. to our surprise one of them tried to perform mouth to pavement resuscitation, but the patient was lost.

All the gear went into the shiny new Holden with a shove and we blatted off north, in the direction of Wodonga. Not far up the highway and we soon see that the cops over here hide in the bushes, armed with radar guns and perched on deck chairs, with chilly bins and donuts all close by.

With a bit of luck, Worms’ Aunty lives real close to the Australian Masters flying site, in a small township called Barnawartha. A camper on their back lawn would be Team Bogworm’s HQ for the next few days. On the back roads we soon found out that the Holden could get to the airfield not in 7 minutes as Aunty Glennis had timed, but more like 2…. as the sun went down at the end of the day, we had both managed to get a couple of flights in each.

Day 1 – Arrived at the field in the wagon, which overnight had been decked out in Kiwi flags, and it looked somewhat like Helen Clarks official government vehicle. The ozzys quickly gathered around as our new Matrix’s were assembled on the flight line. Worms had already taken 3 confirmed orders before he’d even plugged his wings in ! Perfect conditions prevailed all day as Sportsman and Advanced were flown in the morning, Expert and Masters (F3A) flown in the afternoon. All classes were flown with two flight lines. Everyone was rostered for at least one stint in the Judging chair, and the Judges were rotated daily. The first day of competition went well with all four Kiwi’s in the top half of the field. After a good first day, we both decided that we’d better go to the pub and check out some of the local talent ….. there was plenty. Problem was, how will we get home ? Our camper was 30km’s from Wodonga, and after a few beers, we ended up going a further 5 k’s north to the next city, Albury. Even though all the other flyers were staying in town, none of them appeared at all keen for a night out, however we did manage to talk Steve into giving us a lift, and he was breath tested on the way. Even though he confessed to being a non drinker for all his life, and passed the test with flying colours, this was still not good enough for these boys in blue. Perhaps it was all the reversing, and swerving between lanes 50 metres back up the road at the traffic lights that upset them ! After a great night out, and a $50 taxi ride home at 5:00 in the morning, that was the end of day one for Team Bogworm.

Day 2- aaaargh, what a night ! After freezing our tits off in the camper, it was off to the field again for more gum trees and ozzy drama. As we arrived at the field, some joker had just smeared his model all over the ground when he tried taking off without his ailerons plugged in. By the time F3A rolled around later in the afternoon, Team Bogworm was back on form and ready for action. By now Worms’ Matrix sales had risen to 7 confirmed orders, "Yes Ewan is going to be busy". Bogan capped of the day by nearly shredding his new Matrix through the Gum Trees during a demo for the locals who had turned out. "Bogans Tip of the Day" … do not run your aerial down the centre of the fuselage if you are using long extension leads to the tail. Bogan was starting one of those really low, and really fast horizon to horizon slow rolls when the model went into failsafe and hold….oooh is that a small sewage plant in my trousers ? Hooley Dooley routed the Aerial to the fin, and the problem was resolved…..the beat ups resumed.

APA Annual General Meeting & Fund Raising Auction – This was held at the Aulbury Golf club on Sunday Night and as you can imagine, all the ozzys had there lovely green and canary yellow blazers on, ties etc. After the AGM and a smorgasbord dinner, they raffled off quite a selection of goodies donated by various sources, including JR servo’s, F3A kits, complete radios systems etc. All of which was snapped up at bargain prices.

Day 3 – Monday – Finals Pattern. Yep, the boys all enjoyed F01…. sheaaah right ! "Worms’ tip of the day"…. Make sure the battery in your brand new Carrerra 2000 is well secured to the fuselage before flying. We witnessed the most spectacular fly away of the Millennium. A Carrerra 2000 on full throttle started outside looping and soon drifted on a collision course with the Hume Highway. After numerous loops, with the crowd oooing and aarghing at the bottom of each, and as the loops got lower and lower, and it finally hit terra firma, scaring a few of the local snakes. Luckily it had made it to the other side of the Highway, or we may have all been on the 6 o’clock news !

Following the competition, some of the locals fired up their sporty forty models and offered Bogan and Worms a "see what you guys can do with these ?" session. Dual Aerobatics and synchronized gum tree dodging commenced.

At the end of the day, we were yet again last to leave the field, Worms decided it was time to take full advantage of the Holdens off road / on road capabilities, and tried his best to wear out a brand new pair of firehawks as we departed in cloud of smoke…. "Worms’ second tip of the day"…. next time we’ll get a darker coloured car rather than a white one, though petrol can be used to remove rubber from white auto paint !

Keeping to the leisurely itinerary, we cruised back to Melbourne the next day. Worms spent most of the trip trying to amuse the truckies we past on the way down by holding those men interest magazines up to his window. By the general reaction they had obviously not seen anything other than sheep for a long time ! Back at the airport, the rental is returned and we check in for our departure, it seemed like a week since we had arrived. The flight home was just as entertaining, with Worms managing a 3 hour perv at Suzy Aitken who was seated just across the isle, and was not wearing much.

Thanks again to all those who helped make the trip a huge success. Ewan Galloway for his major efforts, Mike Briggs and Graeme Giles for their help, Charlie Lambert who did our last minute graphics, and the Craigheads who chauffeured us to and from the airport.